Katy Perry says no to Dicks

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WEST Ham legends like Julian Dicks, Bobby Moore and Paolo Di Canio have been given the boot by Katy Perry – giving football-themed names for her children the red card.
When questioned about names if the singer and her Hammer-loving comedian fiance Russell Brand have offspring down the line, she said: “I’ve put my foot down and let him know under no circumstances are any of our kids going to be named after his favourite players.”

Transfer Deadline Day XI

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WITH the Transfer Deadline Day madness subsiding, a few fans must be blinking at disbelief at the players their teams have brought in – for better or for worse.
Obviously the big news of the day has to be Rafael Van Der Vaart switching from Real Madrid to Spurs, although Asamoah Gyan’s Sunderland transfer is another headline grabber.
So to toast the top last minute deals struck today, here’s my deadline day XI –
GK – Pletikosa (Spurs)
DEF – Konchesky (Liverpool), Jiranek (Birmingham), Jacobson (West Ham)
MID – Hleb (Birmingham), Cleverley (Wigan), Abe (Leicester), Van Der Vaart (Spurs), Pennant (Stoke)
ATK – Gyan (Sunderland), DJ Campbell (Blackpool)

Goaltastic League Update – GW3

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GAMEWEEK three of the Goaltastic League sees Phil Ampleford and Amy Watkins maintain a one-two with their teams Ruff Tuff Bluff Stuf and Leeds Leeds Leeds.
The big change this week however is in third, with a new entry, Big Tackle, managed by Jamie Hill, moving in.
The rest of the table remains in flux, with every side bar ninth-placed Philsforest either moving up or down.
It saddens me to say that my Ashletico side is one of those moving in the wrong direction.
Think you can topple Ruff tuff Bluff Stuf in the inaugural Goaltastic league?
To do so, put together a team for free here, and then join the competition by using the code 183-84.
Further League Updates will be blogged here throughout the season.

Varney illuminates Premier League

JUST a quick post to say congratulations to local lad Luke Varney.
The former Quorn FC striker has climbed the pyramid to sign on loan for Premier League outfit Blackpool, and he made his Premiership debut yesterday against Fulham.
But he wasn’t there to make up the numbers – Varney’s shot led to John Pantsil’s own-goal before slotting home a second minutes later.
Bet Quorn wish they’d held on to him now.
The other highlight for me from Saturday’s matches – celebrating Dimitar Berbatov pulling off his shirt after scoring to reveal a second plain red shirt.

Scholes and co shouldn’t be conscripted

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WEST Ham United boss Avram Grant has branded England retirees like Paul Scholes as selfish.
Ahead of his side’s clash with Schole’s Manchester United, the Israeli levelled accusations of him and fellow retirees like Wes Brown and Paul Robinson of letting down their compatriots.
He said: “I’ve been a national coach and to serve your country is a privilege. That is more important than anything else.
“I’m not surprised so many players are retiring when they could still play but I don’t like it.
“When you are living in a country, you need to give everything for your country and not think about yourself.”
What does Grant want – Fabio Capello and Franco Baldini pressganging outside Old Trafford, dressed as sailors, throwing brown sacks over Red Devils’ heads?
The undeniable talent that is Scholes will be 37 at the time of the next European Championships, and close to turning 40 at the next World Cup.
The way I see it as creaking stars like Scholes won’t be in a position to serve their country in Brazil 2014, why should England rely on a Dad’s Army side to qualify?

Carly Zucker’s carjacking trauma

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ENGLAND footballer Joe Cole avoided an immediate ban for speeding at 105mph after a court heard today that his wife Carly Zucker was “severely traumatised” after being dragged from her car by “eight thugs on motorbikes”.
The WAG has been left unable to get back behind the wheel after she was the victim of a carjacking outside her Chelsea home, Staines Magistrates’ Court in south west London was told.
Police are still hunting for the black Audi A4 which was stolen almost a fortnight ago, said Cole’s lawyer Nick Freeman.
Chairman of the bench John Neary agreed to suspend a 50-day ban and £750 fine while Mr Freeman, known as Mr Loophole, launches an appeal.
The Liverpool and England star did not appear in court for the hearing.

Former Quorn FC player joins Premier League side

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FORMER Quorn FC striker Luke Varney has joined Premier League outfit Blackpool.
The local player has been loaned to the Seasiders from Derby County, with an option to make the deal permanent.
Blackpool manager Ian Holloway said: “He’s a great lad, he’s got some pace and I think he’ll play really well in a 4-3-3.
“I think he’ll just slot straight in to our system and hopefully I can get him going again.
“He’s a fantastic lad off the field and even at Sheffield Wednesday last season he got 11 goals for them.”

New rules to tackle loan arrangers Man City?

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NEW rules could be brought in by the Premier League to control loans within the league after suspicions that Manchester City are stockpiling players to prevent them signing for rivals.
It is believed that the idea was raised behind the scenes in previous seasons, but never followed through – but with Man City amassing a squad of 38 first team players, and only a squad of 25 allowed to be registered from next week, the proposals may be examined in more depth.
At present, nothing prevents a side purchasing as many players as it likes who will never get a game for them and loaning them out.
Tottenham Hotspur’s manager, Harry Redknapp, has hinted that City – capable of out-bidding its competitors’ wage offers – are dictating which clubs their surplus-to-requirements players can play at, correctly predicting that Craig Bellamy wouldn’t agree a move to a club with Champions League pretensions ahead of a switch to Championship side Cardiff City.
He said: “I couldn’t see them loaning him to someone like us.”