ONE is a testing dummy which flops on impact etc. etc.
Last night I spent 90 minutes reporting on Leicestershire County Council’s Highways Forum for Charnwood, before going home to watch 90 minutes of England versus Montenegro, and I’m not sure which was more bum-numbingly tedious.
Actual incidents aside, a goalless draw at home to Montenegro – however in-form the minnows may be – isn’t good enough.
So rather than talk about the Montenegrans’ attempt to break the world ankle tapping record, the fact that the fussy ref looked a bit like Ed Milliband, or that Joe Hart should be commended for staying awake long enough to see his crossbar rattled by the visitors only strike, I thought I’d do a Fabio and look to Ashley Young for inspiration.
To be fair, the nippy Aston Villa wingman looked alright on his first England start, taking on defenders and retaining the ball far better than Adam Johnson on the opposite flank.
But, christ, that boy can fall limply like a crash test dummy if he thinks he’s inside the box – at least let the player hit you first, Ash.