Premiershipping Forecast – Ibrahimovic is the Swede we need

ON THE RADAR – Zlatan Ibrahimovic
CURRENT SIDE – Paris St Germain
POSSIBLE PREM TEAMS – Chelsea, Manchester City
THE LOWDOWN – News today is that Man Utd striker Wayne Rooney could be snaffled up for a cool £40m by PSG – leaving Sweden’s finest Zlatan Ibrahimovic free to move on.
The nomadic forward has long terrorised defences around Europe but never made it to the Premier League.
But should he be on the move, the rumour mill has ground out the names of Chelsea and Manchester City as potential suitors – although a move back to Italy and AC MIlan is also on the cards, say the papers.

Chelsea and Man City in hunt for Zlatan Ibrahimovic

SWEDISH striking sensation Zlatan Ibrahimovic could be on the move this summer, say the French and Swedish press – with two English clubs in the running.
The PSG striker, who has never played more than 100 games for a club, is unsettled, says his agent.
He is quoted as saying: “In the transfer market, anything is possible. There are two or three teams in Italy who can buy him. Juventus, Milan and Inter.
“We also have Real Madrid, Chelsea or City. It will not be easy to buy him loose from PSG.”
Please, Premier League, make it happen.

Roo la la! Man Utd’s England striker a target for PSG

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BRITISH bulldog Wayne Rooney is a target for French moneybags Paris St Germain, according to reports.
The team are planning to beef up their attack by fielding Rooney alongside Swede Zlatan Ibrahimovic next season, and are planning to pounce after Rooney’s talisman status at Old Trafford was disrupted by the arrival of Dutch striker Robin van Persie this season.
Apparently the French club is planning “a monster punt” to land their man this summer.

Beckham was offered contract by Norwegian 8th tier side

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BEFORE signing up for PSG to play for free on Transfer Deadline Day, donating his wage to charity, David Beckham had quite a few offers to mull over.
And it’s been revealed that, God love ’em, 8th tier Norwegian outfit Ørn Kristiania had submitted a bid.
The club were prepared to offer the number 7 shirt for the Oslo-based side, an official club sports bag, an official club button to sew onto one of his blazers, and to even waive the club’s membership fee of 2,500 NOK.
In a joint letter to the former LA Galaxy, Real Madrid and Manchester United man’s representatives, the chairman and manager said: “We believe that our platyers and our social environment around our club will be worth more than any amount of dollars or pounds.”
Perhaps they should have written to Peter Odemwingie…

Transfer Deadline Day XI

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SO THE dust is now settling on another deadline day’s deals, and to help showcase some of the best business done today, here’s my top team of players who were on the move.
Minus Peter Odemwingie, for obvious reasons…
GK – Butland (Stoke)
DEF – Shea (Stoke), Samba (QPR), Monreal (Arsenal)
MID – Beckham (PSG), Jenas (QPR), Scharner (Wigan), Townsend (QPR)
ATK – Graham (Sunderland), Balotelli (AC Milan), Becchio (Norwich)

Deadline Day: Beckham heading to Paris?

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ACCORDING to Le Parisien newspaper, globetrotting Goldenballs David Beckham coul dbe heading to Paris St Germain.
The French club are reported to be looking at former Manchester United, LA Galaxy and Real Madrid veteran Beckham as well as Daniele De Rossi of Roma and Napoli’s Marek Hamsik.
A badly translated quote from the news source said: “A close adviser of English player 37, free after his departure from Los Angeles Galaxy Paris confided that “was on the short list,” before adding “no decision had yet been taken.””.
Oh la la!

Owen going to Milan rumour

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WITH the transfer deadline fast approaching, the rumours are starting to get strange around here – the latest being that former footballer and professional bench warmer Michael Owen is on his way to AC Milan.
Owen, who has resorted to creating a glossy brochure to send out to suitors in the past in order to secure a transfer, is heading out of Manchester United, with his agent previously hinting a Premier League club would be his destination.
However AC Milan are a striker short with Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s move to Paris Saint Germain – and the Red Devils are rumoured to have offered to offload Owen to the Italian club to fill the void.
Now I realise unlikelier transfers have happened in the past, but seriously?
If this happens, I’ll buy myself a smart new Italian hat and post a video of me eating that sucker.