Addict Gazza is hooked on sweets

ENGLAND legend Paul Gascoigne has described “the pain” of knowing he might start drinking again even though he recognises it might kill him – and has turned his addictive personality to an addiction to sweets.
A new documentary about the former England footballer reveals he is now addicted to the sweet treats, and that he spends £1,000 a year on anti-wrinkle jabs to counteract the ravages of drinking.
Gascoigne, who played for teams including Newcastle United and Tottenham Hotspur, was followed by a film crew for three months for an ITV documentary after his return from a treatment clinic in the United States where he overheard doctors say he might die.
The 46-year-old told the filmmakers: “I just remember one bit after the third day of being in hospital when he said ‘I don’t think this guy is going to make it’ and I sort of put my head up a little bit and I was like, tubes in my arms and an oxygen tank injecting round my heart and lungs and that. I just come forward and I went ‘I don’t want to die I need to water the plants’ and that was it and then I woke up two weeks later.”
Gascoigne, who describes himself as “an addictive personality”, said: “With me now if I did have a drink and relapse, it’s like becoming tipsy and merry is okay for a couple of days but like the next mouthful I’m so down, I’m so depressed, I cry. I do all that because I know inside I’m hurting myself again. I know where I’m heading, a wooden box. Or I’m back in treatment or hospital. Or getting sectioned.”

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Gascoigne gets an X-Factor exit

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LAST night’s X-Factor threw up a shock in the form of Bianca Gascoigne.
Bianca, famous for her previous TV outing Celebrity Love Island as well as being the offspring of outrageously talented footballer and terrible comedian Paul Gascoigne, was auditioning for the TV talent show to break away from her public perception.
She said: “I’ve always been a singer, this is something that I’ve wanted to do and it’s been years and years I’ve thought this through to do it and now I’m here I’m just like ‘oh my god!”
But singing Mary J Blige’s I’m Going Down, she failed to make the cut and left with four ‘no’ votes from the panel.
Gary Barlow said: “In general it was a bit of a mediocre audition.”
And Rita Ora said: “I just think we’ve seen better singers.”

Gascoigne coming to Loughborough

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NO, NOT that one…
Glamour model Bianca Gascoigne – pictured here almost in an England strip – is heading to Loughborough later this month.
The step daughter of England legend Paul Gascoigne and star of TV shows including Love Island, Celebrity Gladiators and Celebrity Coach Trip – where she paired up with tabloid fodder Imogen Thomas – will make an appearance to cut the ribbon on the new Browns Salon in Swan Street on May 26.

Five In Midfield XI

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FOOTBALL blog Five In Midfield has been kind enough to let me put my words all over their excellent site, penning an all-time XI to be posted.
I had a lot of fun and a little brow-furrowing putting the piece together – if you think Sir Alex Ferguson has selection headaches, try picking a team from every player that’s ever lived, ever.
Nevertheless, I did it, and you can read the reasons behind my picks here.
For those with less time on their hands, here’s my selection, and if anyone else is brave enough to let me guest post on their site, get in touch –
GK – Campos
DEF – Desailly, Cannavaro, Lucio.
MID – Best, Gascoigne, Zidane, Maradona, Ronaldo.
ATK – Ronaldo, Henry.

Gazza was not the man for Man Utd

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ENGLAND legend Paul Gascoigne once begged Sir Alex Ferguson for a transfer to Manchester United.
Gazza has revealed he pleaded in vain after finishing his contract with Italian side Lazio in 1995, despite being at the height of his fame – because he had snubbed Ferguson earlier in his career.
He said: “I knew I wasn’t going there. You only mess with Sir Alex once.”
Perhaps he should have offered Sir Alex a can of lager, some chicken, a mobile phone and something to keep warm…

Could puckelball kick football into touch?

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BEHOLD! This is what Paul Gascoigne actually sees when he steps onto a football pitch nowadays.
I jest, this is in fact a puckelball pitch in Malmo, Sweden, installed in 2003 by conceptual artist Johan Strom as a public play area in the city.
He said: “The piece is an artistic expression of the phenomenon of football.
“The pitch’s irregularities neutralise the players’ skills.
“It is not at all certain that the best football player is also the greatest puckelball hero.
“If the ball doesn’t bounce where you think it will everybody has a chance.”
I realise it’s not exactly new, but I had to post it on sheer awesomeness alone – it would certainly liven up a Stoke-Fulham tie or two.

She’s a WAG…

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…GET her in there.
The former Mrs Gazza, Sheryl Gascoigne, is set to follow in the footsteps of WAGs Carly Zucker, Nicola McLean and Alex Best by taking part in the reality TV show I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here.
And as well as coming face to face with the Australian jungle, having Ant and Dec snigger at her and having to take on the infamous bush tucker trials, Sheryl will be forced to live in close proximity to celebs including Shaun Ryder, Gillian McKeith and Lembit Opik.
Poor girl.