England! Three Lions! St George! We’re gonna win the World Cup! Yeah!

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THAT sound you heard last night, that clicking sound, that was the sound of England clicking into place.
Now I know in my heart of hearts that we’re not going to win the World Cup in Brazil next summer, but last night England did go tantalisingly close to giving back a glimmer of hope to the nation’s fans.
Because not only did we beat Brazil, it wasn’t an undeserved result.
England, with close to a full strength first team that you could only imagine Roy adding one of two players to if he had an injury-free squad, outplayed Brazil, who may be under-par by their standards but should still be the match of any team on the international stage.
The goat-like figure of a frustrated Neymar and an impotant Ronaldinho unable to pull the strings contrasted to the English midfielders’ performances such as the bustling Jack Wilshere and quarterback Steven Gerrard.
We had pace and penetration, but also patience and probing play. Sure we wobbled at the back and let Fred in, but overall we played our way to victory over the 90 minutes.
So for now Rule Britannia, God Save the Queen, etc.
Until the next friendly, that is…

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Americans dream of Gerrard move

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LIVERPOOL legend Steven Gerrard is top of an MLS shopping list of Englishmen that David Beckham will try to get to move Stateside, according to reports.
After sorting out his own future – with rumours of David Beckham moving everywhere from Monaco to Paris to China floating around – Goldenballs will then be tasked as an MLS recruitment officer with replacing his presence in the American league.
Liverpool’s talisman Steven Gerrard, Stoke City striker Peter Crouch, Chelsea full back Ashley Cole and Manchester United midfield metronome Michael Carrick are apparently the players being lined up.
An MLS source said: “With the wages, lifestyle, and anonymity the world’s top soccer players have playing in the MLS, it makes it an ideal destination for them to finish their careers.”

Goaltastic Fantasy Football League – Gameweek 28

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A GAMEWEEK that began in a muted fashion finished with a definite bang last night – capped by a hattrick from Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard.
As a result more teams make a move up or down the table than stay put – starting at the top with a new leader, Bangkok Foxes.
Ruff Tuff Bluff Stuf (2), Goaltastic’s in-house team Ashletico (4),The Boss XI (5) and Wolfmans Brother (7) all also climb within the top 10.
Top scorer this week is MasasMagic (19) who racked up an impressive 82 points.

Gerrard signs up for ‘toon

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BALL boy Steven Gerrard is hoping to be a big draw by appearing in the Beano cartoon comic book for Sport Relief.
The Liverpool and England midfielder is one of a host of sporting stars including diver Tom Daley, gymnast Beth Tweddle, basketball star Luol Deng and swimmer Rebecca Adlington joining the likes of Dennis the Menace, Lord Snooty and the Bast Street Kids in a special issue of the comic.
In the special sporting cartoon, Gerrard donates a Liverpool shirt to an auction raising cash for the Sport Relief cause.

Goaltastic’s posts of the year 2011

WITH the New Year approaching faster than a Gareth Bale counter-attack, I believe the time is right to recap Goaltastic’s best blogs of 2011.
And when I say best, I mean most read.
In reverse order, they are…
10 – Manchester City signing Clichy once cheated death.
9 – My hilarious Fernando Torres April Fools post
8 – “Rooney, Rooney, Rooney”
7 – Roman Abramovich gets his chopper out
6 – Suarez signing excitement
5 – Manchester United to sign favourite son’s son
4 – Massive boobs story nets huge internet traffic spike shocker
3 – Boring Nasri to sign for Manchester City announcement
2 – Macheda accidentally confirmed the Sneijder deal which never actually happened
1 – The greatest football rumour of the year bar none. Seriously, this never gets old.
Happy New Year!

Anzhi target Gerrard and Lampard

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MONEYBAGS Russians Anzhi Makhachkala are continuing on their quest to sign up all the star players from Football Manager 2006 by raiding the Premier League for midfielders Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard.
The club, who recently added Samuel Eto’o as the world’s highest-paid player to a roster already featuring Yuri Zhrikov and Roberto Carlos, are ready to hand the pair two-year contracts worth £13m a season each.
You can tell that the Russian side is new to this game – any Tom, Dick or Sven knows that Gerrard and Lampard can’t play together, it’s a well known fact.

Gerrard is football’s top gay icon

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GAY men have voted Liverpool beefcake Steven Gerrard the “hottest player” in the Premier League.
The Liverpool and England midfielder topped the table in a poll of 4,200 users of gay dating website Gaydar.co.uk.
The survey, which asked men to rank players in categories such as “best legs” and “worst haircuts”, found Chelsea dreamboat Fernando Torres in second place and another Chelsea hunk, Frank Lampard, in third.
Spurs frontman Peter Crouch polled last in the survey – aiming to tackle homophobia in the sport.
Simon Johnson, product manager for Gaydar.co.uk, said: “It is shocking is that so many gay men aren’t going to football matches because they’re worried about their safety due to homophobia within the sport.”