Mario Balotelli buys pig

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SOMETIMES, really, a headline is all you need.
But in case you want a few more details, former Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli has splashed out on a new purchase, a pet pig.
And the Italy forward, now plying his trade at AC Milan, has revealed on Twitter that he’s named his new porcine pal Super.

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Rio Ferdinand boosts his FIFA stats with Twitter moan

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TWITTER addict and professional footballer Rio Ferdinand has managed to boost his stats on the latest FIFA game after moaning about his in-game profile online.
The Manchester United and England defender hit out after the developers tweeted his vitals over the social network – bemoaning his lack of pace.
He said: “I can’t believe you guys.Pace 60.ok I am not as quick as I once was but Im quicker than that!! 70 at least!”
In response, the game’s Twitter account souped up @rioferdy5’s stats, giving him 85 for pace and upping his stats in other areas too.
Now that’s klout!

Bale’s hat-trick match ball on top of his Xmas tree

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SPURS star Gareth Bale has found the perfect place to display his Boxing Day ball – on top of his Christmas tree.
The flying Welshman scored a hat-trick in a 4-0 festive win over Aston Villa, securing the ball, and as a result he spruced up his home, tweeting: “Thought I’d give this pride of place.”

Messi sets all-time goalscoring record

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STRANGE it should come in a season when by their own exacting standards Barcelona have unravelled somewhat – but tonight Lionel Messi set the all-time goalscoring record.
It has been on the cards for a while – and last season I thought it might be about to happen, with Messi then close to usurping legends like Dixie Dean.
But tonight, via the medium of Gary Lineker’s Twitter account, I heard the news.
Take it Gary: “With 3 goals tonight, Messi with 71 goals has more goals in one season than any player in any league, anywhere, any time ever!”
Since then, Messi added another in an undoing of Espanyol – taking his tally to 72 goals in a season.
Messi, I’ve said it before and I’ll no doubt say it again – Goaltastic salutes you.
Wowsers.

Puyol reveals the only way to stop Messi scoring…

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…that’s right, you need a second Lionel Messi, playing against him in goal.
Carles Puyol tweeted this picture earlier this evening, of 2ft 2in footballing robot Messi flying through the air in training.
One can only assume Messi took the comments about him having to win the World Cup single-handedly to make him the greatest ever footballer a little too literally.

Goaltastic’s posts of the year 2011

WITH the New Year approaching faster than a Gareth Bale counter-attack, I believe the time is right to recap Goaltastic’s best blogs of 2011.
And when I say best, I mean most read.
In reverse order, they are…
10 – Manchester City signing Clichy once cheated death.
9 – My hilarious Fernando Torres April Fools post
8 – “Rooney, Rooney, Rooney”
7 – Roman Abramovich gets his chopper out
6 – Suarez signing excitement
5 – Manchester United to sign favourite son’s son
4 – Massive boobs story nets huge internet traffic spike shocker
3 – Boring Nasri to sign for Manchester City announcement
2 – Macheda accidentally confirmed the Sneijder deal which never actually happened
1 – The greatest football rumour of the year bar none. Seriously, this never gets old.
Happy New Year!

WAG sets kitchen on fire with Christmas cookery

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FIREFIGHTERS were called out to Emile Heskey’s home after his other half, Chantelle Tagoe, set the kitchen alight.
The WAG – a former Come Dine With Me contestant, no less – set a roast pork joint alight while practising ahead of preparing the Aston Villa man’s Christmas dinner.
She tweeted: “OMG set the fire alarm off + almost burnt me pork! Smoke evrywer! SHAAAME the firemen av turned up.”
Followed shortly by: “At least I no me fire alarm works! Me mum was made up with all the hunky firemen in me kitchen! hahaha.”