Deaf refs are best

REFEREES without any sense of hearing are better than able bodied officials, research has found.
The results have nothing to do with being able to ignire the abuse hurled at them from players, managers and the terraces – it’s because adults born deaf react more quickly to objects at the edge of their visual field, according to the University of Sheffield.
Dr Charlotte Codina, who undertook the study as part of her RNID-funded PhD said: “We found that deaf children see less peripherally than hearing children, but, typically, go on to develop better than normal peripheral vision by adulthood.”

Wolves launch raunchy underwear range

NOW when fans of Wolves buy their other halves new underwear, they can buy them Molineux underwear.
Because the Premier League outfit have launched their own range of underwear for female fans to show their support – including Wanderers-themed bras, French knickers and stockings.
Businessman Paul Robinson, who dreamt up the idea with friend Jon Guy, said: “Women make up around 20 per cent of football supporters but only three to five per cent of club merchandise is aimed at them.
“All there seems to be for women in club shops up and down the country are pink T-shirts.
“I looked at all the Premier League club brochures and found no one was doing anything sassy for female fans.”

Goaltastic League Update – Gameweek 15

THE snowy wintery weather has seen a freeze on the top teams’ placings in the Goaltastic League.
After Gameweek 15’s matches, the top six teams all maintain their posititions, meaning huge tackle keeps top spot, with all posting practicaly identical scores.
Lower down, some teams did creep up the table, including Sven You’re Smiling (7), Melchester Rovers (9), Your Mum FC (11), and Partizan Endmorvia (13), who registered a massive 84 points haul.
Want to enter your team in the inaugural Goaltastic league?
To do so, put together a team for free here, and then join the competition by using the code 183-84.
League Updates will be blogged at this site throughout the season.

UEFA are wrong to charge Mourinho over red cards

UEFA has opened disciplinary procedures against Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho and four of the club’s players for improper conduct during their 4-0 Champions League win against Ajax.
Along with the manager, red carded players Xabi Alonso and Sergio Ramos as well as captain Iker Casillas and reserve goalkeeper Jerzy Dude all face fines for their involvement in the controversial dismissals in the game on Tuesday.
The two players were shown second yellow cards for timewasting, picking up suspensions for the meaningless tie against Auxerre, rather than risking a ban during the knockout stages.
UEFA is dead wrong to do this, and is wasting everyone’s time.
The plan concucted by Real Madrid may have been underhand, but it was entirely within the rules – they had performed well enough to have this advantage, and they used it.
Both dismissals were technical yellow cards, nobody was hurt, and the result was unaffected.
Neither player was guaranteed to be played, let alone booked, in the Auxerre match, with Real Madrid already through the groups, and with the Ajax game already won, I fail to see their actions as particularly unsporting against any side specifically.
I see this as the same as resting a player to avoid them picking up an injury – is that unsporting behaviour or intelligent management?
This was a tactic to expose a flaw in the system, and as such action should taken against the system and not the team that used it to their advantage.

Bolton players endulge in fargling

THAT’S rock paper scissors by the way, nothing seedy.
Bolton boss Owen Coyle has revealed that his team’s eyebrow raising form in the Premier League is due to the team spirit in the dressing room.
And that team spirit is a result of one thing – rock paper scissors.
He said: “Footballers are just big kids at heart. I know these lads are working hard – but they are also doing it with a smile on their face.
“The lads do a ‘scissors, paper, rock’ thing and there is a punishment for the loser. So they are getting good at playing it – or else. The loser gets his ears flicked and it is painful.
“I stay out of it with the size of ears I’ve got! But it is great to see them having a bit of fun together. There is a great spirit in this group.”
Firstly, how can you be good at playing rock paper scissors, a game of choosing one of three options at random?
And can you imagine how good Bolton are going to be after Christmas when Johann Elmander gets that game of Monopoly he’s asked Santa for?

Kevin Keegan’s dead dog ruined Man United move for keeper

GERMAN international goalkeeper Uli Stein turned down an offer from Manchester United – because of Kevin Keegan’s dead dog.
In 1987, soon after Sir Alex Ferguson had taken over at Old Trafford, Stein was approached about moving from Bundesliga side Hamburg.
But knowing Kevin Keegan’s pet pooch had copped it in quarantine when he moved to the UK after a stint in Germany, Stein turned the Red Devils’ offer down.
He said: “If you want to go to England you have to put your dog in quarantine for six months for anti-rabies laws.
“When Kevin Keegan went back to England from Hamburg he had to put his dogs in quarantine for six months and, if I remember right, one of them did not make it.
“My wife and I are animal lovers and we decided we could not take that risk with our dog.”

Old Firm still too soft for Premier League

LAST night’s Champions League Battle of Britain showdown between Manchester United and Glasgow Rangers was more of a standoff.
The match, which was about as much of a spectacle as watching me type this post up, eventually saw weary Rangers succumb to a late penalty from Wayne Rooney, making a total of one goal from 12 yards after 180 minutes of play between the two this season.
Yawnarama.
From time to time the issue of the Glasgow giants of Rangers and Celtic and how they would fare in the English Premier League is discussed – and last night’s evidence should count as a massive argument to not combining the Scottish teams with their Southern counterparts.
Despite being top of their domestic league, Rangers were resorting to stifling tactics and a five man defence from the outset last night, and rarely progressed past the halfway line despite needing to win to retain any chance of staying in the Champions League.
Manchester United are a top team, but they’re not even at their top form at present – throw Scotland’s finest into a league with sides of their calibre and I worry you’ll end up with the Glasgow teams completing on a level with the teams from Swansea and Cardiff rather than London and Manchester.

Rooney angry over family’s Facebook jibe

DESPITE scoring last night against Rangers in the Champions League, Wayne Rooney is furious about claims he wants to score off the field as well on the internet – from his own family.
His glamour model cousin Natalie Rooney commented on Facebook after hearing X-Factor hopeful Katie Waissel’s grandma was a £250-an-hour prostitute.
She said the Man United striker would “love a piece” of Sheila Vogel-Coupe, 81, after news of her escort work hit national newspapers.

Player who tried to run over ref jailed

A SUNDAY league footballer who drove his car at a referee was jailed for 24 weeks today.
Joseph Rimmer, 28, drove his 4×4 on to the pitch, causing referee David Harkness and football players to run for their lives, Liverpool Crown Court was told.
Lonsdale player Rimmer, of Melling, Merseyside, reacted with fury as he was about to be shown the red card during a game against Harrington at Portland Street playing fields in Southport on Sunday, February 14.
Derek Jones, prosecuting, said: “Before he could be shown the red card, the defendant stated, ‘I’m going to run you down’, then walked across a neighbouring pitch as another game was going on.
“When players shouted to the defendant to get off the pitch, he told them, ‘Watch me run the f****** ref over’.
“He went over to his Range Rover and drove toward the pitch.”
The court heard that after driving in circles across the pitch sending players and officials scattering, the defendant came to a stop, got out of the car and made a gun shape with his hand, shouting towards Mr Harkness: “I’m going to shoot you.”

Luke Varney sells sea shells on the sea shore

BLACKPOOL manager Ian Holloway has admitted the wrong player was substituted in the win over Wolves because he got his tongue twisted.
He wanted to replace Luke Varney with David Carney and use the Australian just in front of left-back Stephen Crainey – but the wrong man ended up being subbed.
He said: “We got it mixed up. I wanted to take Varney off and put Carney on but we ended up taking off Crainey and it all got a little confused.
“So we’ve got a new thing now where the staff are going to run everything past me because Varney, Carney, Crainey is a bit of a tongue-twister.”
For future reference, Varney sells sea shells on the sea shore, whilst Crainey picks peck of pickled pepper and Carney is a pheasant plucker’s son.