Transfer titbit – Fernando Torres turns Blue

THE most inevitable transfer of the day has been completed – Fernando Torres is officially a Chelsea player.
In what is a domestic transfer record, an estimated £50m plus add ons has landed the Spanish hitman for the London club.
The figure beats the £35 paid for Andy Carroll by Liverpool minutes previously, and smashes the £30.75m paid by Manchester United for Dimitar Berbatov in 2008.
For that money, Chelsea have secured the services of one of the Premier League’s proven superstars, and just in time for the visit of Liverpool to Stamford Bridge this Sunday to boot…

Transfer Deadline Day XI

THE transfer window has now firmly slammed shut, but only after a few million pounds and about as many names have been tossed around nonchalantly, all in the name of football.
And you have to say it’s been a blast.
There’s been some surprising moves, and some grindingly inevitable ones too – and as the dust settles, invariably some fans will be happier than others with the way things panned out for their sides.
And yes, I’m prematurely assuming that the Torres and Luiz deals will go through for Chelsea.
To help you decide which camp you fall into, here are Goaltastic’s picks for the top signings of the day – although inclusion in the 3-4-3 formation XI below doesn’t necessarily represent the best value for money today…
GK – Ricardo (Leicester)
DEF – Luiz (Chelsea) – Haas (Middlesbrough) – Konchesky (Nottingham Forest)
MID – Reid (Blackpool) – Bradley (Aston Villa) – Ireland (Newcastle) – Suarez (Liverpool)
ATK – Torres (Chelsea) – Carroll (Liverpool) – Martins (Birmingham)

Transfer titbit – Good riddance to Hadj rubbish

IT’S not very often you celebrate a player leaving the division you follow – but the news El Hadj Diouf is on his way to Scottish giants Glasgow Rangers is one big exception.
The objectionable Senegalese striker – reportedly in the Scottish city tonight – has made headlines for spitting at fans and players, racially abusing ball boys and throwing insults at players lying prone with broken legs.
In the words of Neil Warnock, he is “a horrible disgusting man”.
At his current club, Blackburn Rovers, he’s managed four goals in 60 appearances.

Transfer titbit – Spurs in for Forlan

AS WELL as lodging bids for just about every striker in Spain, Harry Redknapp is reportedly in talks to bring Uruguayan hitman Diego Forlan to White Hart Lane.
We all know Harry’s a bit of a wheeler-dealer in the transfer market – despite what he might say – and in my opinion landing a proven forward as talented as Forlan in the window would be a hard coup to better, however many millions get thrown about today.
He was one of the stars of the World Cup this summer – and noticeably a better performer than Liverpool target Luis Suarez – and in the run-up to the tournament was a thorn in several Premier League’s sides for Atletico Madrid in Europe.
I reckon lining him up as the fulcrum to Spurs’ midfield richese could be the final piece of the puzzle needed to secure Champions League for a second successive season.

Transfer titbit – Torres to Chelsea, in a helicopter

WE ALL know that Fernando Torres is most likely to be on his way to Chelsea today.
He was spotted training this morning at Liverpool’s Melwood facility, cutting a lonely figure after several days of transfer stories circulating – and the latest reports are the Spanish striker is now on his way out of the North West on board a helicopter.
He’s obviously in a hurry somewhere, no prizes for guessing where.
More importantly, £50m plus burns a hell of a hole in a club’s pocket – I wonder who’s in a helicopter heading the other way…

Transfer titbit – Roberto Carlos to West Ham

TODAY is Transfer Deadline Day! Hooray!
It’s like Christmas day for football agents – sorry, fans – where dreams are made.
And ignoring the bigger Torres, Suarez, Keane type deals sureto grab headlines today, an interesting titbit was just posted on the BBC’s excellent live text roundup – Brazilian legend Roberto Carlos is being linked with West Ham in his national country’s press.
The former International defender is proving to be somewhat evergreen, enjoying a great season in his home country where he plays alongside Ronaldo for Corinthinans.
Fingers crossed old thunder thighs – and he is old, 37 to be exact – has a last hurrah in the Premier League.

Lookalike Friday – Sideshow Marouane

EVERTON hairball Marouane Fellaini looks like a lot of things – a mop, a microphone, a dropped lollipop that’s been on a journey down the back of the sofa collecting fluff.
But all of them are inanimate objects – in fact, Simpsons cartoon character Sideshow Bob is about the closest thing to a real life human I could find.
Isn’t Lookalike Friday great?

Lookalike Friday – Marcus Hahnemann’s Disturbed

WOLVES keeper Marcus Hahnemann has been left banging his head at his side’s woeful defending this season.
It’s no wonder – the guy looks a lot like literal metalhead David Draiman, lead singer of overegged rockers Disturbed.
He must ‘Believe’ he is ‘Indestructible’ between the posts, saving shots with ‘Ten Thousand Fists’, and other cheap puns lifted from Distrbed’s Wikipedia page.

Lookalike Friday – David Norris is beautiful

THAT rugged stubble, the muscular physique, the deep blue eyes – Ipswich Town’s David Norris is the doppleganger of soldier-turned-balladeer James Blunt.
That is all.

Lookalike Friday – Goldenballs and a Johnson

IT’S AN oldie but a goodie – rather like Becks himself.
For not only do David Beckham and Andrew Johnson look alike, they sound alike as well.
If I were Fulham, I would be wondering if I could make a fast buck by flogging Johnson in an LA Galaxy shirt before the transfer window shuts…