CAN’T Touch This! must be happier than Theo Walcott with a new contract having maintained the top spot in the Goaltastic League.
Hot on their heels are Rumford Rovers and climber LookMumNoHands who are now joint second. Also rising this week are FormOnly (4) and Just Pass It! (5), Ruff Tuff Bluff Stuf (7) and FC Geesus (10).
And a massive mention to Canons Ablaze (11), who broke through the 100-point barrier with a 105 haul, 52 of which came from Captain Walcott.
SPURS star Gareth Bale has found the perfect place to display his Boxing Day ball – on top of his Christmas tree.
The flying Welshman scored a hat-trick in a 4-0 festive win over Aston Villa, securing the ball, and as a result he spruced up his home, tweeting: “Thought I’d give this pride of place.”
A NEW word has been added to the Swedish dictionary for 2013, in honour of Swedish powerhouse Zlatan Ibrahimovic.
The striker’s name has been used as a verb – Zlataner – has been used by Swedes recently, and now the Swedish Language Council are to include the word Zlatanera in the dictionary next year.
In English it means “to clear anything with force” or “to dominate”.
THE top two teams are still top of the Goaltastic League tree – so it was a merry Christmas for Can’t Touch This! (1) and Rumford Rovers (2).
Rochester United (3), LookMumNoHands (4), Just Pass It! (6) and Ruff Tuff Bluff Stuf (9) all climb inside the top 10.
Top scorer was 44th placed VZ Vampires with 82 points, 42 alone from hat-trick hero Gareth Bale.
A CHRISTMAS looms like a fast-approaching football to the back of Robin van Persie’s head, the top two avoid a ding-dong battle on high, merrily keeping their places in first (Can’t Touch This!) and second (Rumford Rovers).
A happy Christmas will also be had by high climbers FormOnly (3), LookMumNoHands (5), Just Pass It! (7), Ashletico (8), Ruff Tuff Bluff Stuf (9) and Transact United (10).
The highest scoring team this week was Mikel Wan-Obi (48) with 82 points – helped by having three members of Chelsea, who demolished Aston Villa 8-0.
A DUTCH pornstar, Kim Holland, has sponsored Utrecht-based football club RUC.
The enterprising adult entertainer, who already has her own club and adult TV channel Girls of Holland, has added the sporting outfit to her portfolio – as the club’s name RUC bears a similarity to the Dutch word “ruk”, a slang term which means to enjoy ones own company a little too much.
The club, whose motto translates as “winning is never alone”, has even seen the adult actress cheering them on from the stands in recent weeks.
AN AVERAGE gameweek for table-topper FormOnly has seen them tumble to fourth spot in the table, at the expense of Can’t Touch This! (1), Rumford Rovers (2) and Tim Connor (3).
Also on the up in the top 10 teams are LookMumNoHands (6), Trad Bricks (7), Just Pass It! (8) and Goaltastic house team Ashletico (9).
Highest scorer, courtesy of Santi Cazorla’s heroics as captain and double figure hauls from Van Persie and Podolskii, was ZAC Bombers (69) with 88 points.