ON THE eve of another gameweek, it’s only right I haul my lazy bones over the already-dead embers of last weekend’s fixtures.
Madara 11 is top for a second week running.
Well done to them.
Also climbing almost a week ago were second and third placed CarrollDowningJäger and Fawlty Torres.
Well done to them too.
Highest scorer in gameweek six – the brilliantly-named Tekkerslovakia, whose 89 point haul moved them up to 18th.
Very well done.
And a special mention goes to me, as I scored 84 and moved up to 49th – on the first page of teams in the league.
Well done me.
ENGLAND legend Paul Gascoigne has described “the pain” of knowing he might start drinking again even though he recognises it might kill him – and has turned his addictive personality to an addiction to sweets.
A new documentary about the former England footballer reveals he is now addicted to the sweet treats, and that he spends £1,000 a year on anti-wrinkle jabs to counteract the ravages of drinking.
Gascoigne, who played for teams including Newcastle United and Tottenham Hotspur, was followed by a film crew for three months for an ITV documentary after his return from a treatment clinic in the United States where he overheard doctors say he might die.
The 46-year-old told the filmmakers: “I just remember one bit after the third day of being in hospital when he said ‘I don’t think this guy is going to make it’ and I sort of put my head up a little bit and I was like, tubes in my arms and an oxygen tank injecting round my heart and lungs and that. I just come forward and I went ‘I don’t want to die I need to water the plants’ and that was it and then I woke up two weeks later.”
Gascoigne, who describes himself as “an addictive personality”, said: “With me now if I did have a drink and relapse, it’s like becoming tipsy and merry is okay for a couple of days but like the next mouthful I’m so down, I’m so depressed, I cry. I do all that because I know inside I’m hurting myself again. I know where I’m heading, a wooden box. Or I’m back in treatment or hospital. Or getting sectioned.”
THERE’S a new leader at the summit of the table this week, with movement throughout the top teams – in fact everyone rises or falls from first up to 13th.
Current leader by one point is Madara11, ahead of joint second-placed teams Team and Just Another Team.
Just Another Team clearly isn’t just another team though – they were this gameweek’s top scorers with a tantalisingly-close-to-triple-figures 99 points.
WITH suggestions that a winter World Cup may be needed to allow winning bidder Qatar to host the 2022 footballing showpiece, an inspired suggestion has been put forward by the Mirror – play the tournament at night.
In his article here, journalist Ed Malyon proposes a nighttime tournament, which would allow the tournament to go ahead in cooler temperatures, still in summer and at a time to suit audiences in Europe and America to boot.
He says: “An idea which, rather surprisingly hasn’t really surfaced as an alternative despite making all the sense in the world – or at least as much sense as a World Cup in Qatar can.
“Play it at night.
“Breathtakingly simple, but also sane.
“Average temperatures at midnight are nearly half that of the daily high during the summer, the time difference would make it perfectly acceptable for viewing audiences in Europe and the Americas and, best of all, there is no need for widescale disruption to the majority of the world’s domestic leagues.”
He does add however though that “with this being FIFA though, the very presence of common sense is likely to rule any idea out of the running”.
Inspired. no? Made me think.
ROMELU Lukaku scored for Everton today – but he was the only person in the stadium that missed it.
The on-loan Belgian notched for the Toffees, but in the process the striker was knocked out.
He said: “I remember nothing about it. I did not even know I had scored, that was the first thing I asked the doc
“I said “who scored?” He said “you”.”
A COACH for Italian club Genoa was caught spying in on rivals Sampdoria ahead of their next match dressed “like Rambo”.
Youth team coach Luca De Pra has been suspended after he was spotted lurking in a wooded area close to Sampdoria’s training base in full military gear.
Genoa have said that the coach was acting alone and not carrying out an official spying mission.
Sampdoria said in a statement: “That the derby is a question of nerve, tactics and strategy we already knew, but frankly we could never expect that it could turn into an scene of espionage.
“Like Rambo hidden among the branches on the hill, Luca De Pra, Genoa goalkeeping coach and man of noble footballing ancestry, failed to overcome Sampdoria’s intelligence and counter intelligence operations.
“However, no prisoners were taken, and no blood was shed.
“Once tracked down and caught red-handed, the opposing side’s soldier was let free to return to base.
“You should always forgive your enemies, as nothing annoys them more.”
WHILE West Brom manager Steve Clarke was able to give debuts to new signings Victor Anichebe and Morgan Amalfitano, Stephane Sessegnon missed out due to a “glitch” in his work permit application – rumoured to be that his name was spelt wrongly on the form.
The Benin international was unable to take the field against Fulham this Saturday, andalthough the spelling error was not confirmed, his new boss said: “When you transfer from one club to another you have to re-apply for your work permit.
“There was a little glitch in the process yesterday that delayed it and unfortunately for us he was not available for this game.
“Hopefully it will be resolved over the weekend or early next week at the latest and he’ll be available to face his old club Sunderland next Saturday.”
I bet whoever filled out that form feels a right plokner now.
WELSH winger Gareth Bale has scored in his first Real Madrid appearance since his world-record transfer.
Starting on the right-wing in the Spanish giants’ clash against Villarreal as part of a three-pronged attack for Real Madrid, Bale didn’t waste much time with an easy tap-in to draw Real Madrid level after his team fell a goal behind – before performing his signature hand heart celebration.
FORMER AC Milan and Chelsea striker Andriy Shevchenko, former European Footballer of the Year, is to make his professional golfing debut today.
The 36-year-old Ukrainian is to take part in golf’s Challenge Tour at the Kharkov Superior Cup in his home nation, after getting a special invitation to the event.
He said: “This is the first big event for me and of course it is the first event in Ukraine so it’s a huge event for golf in this country.
“I have played with many good players in pro-ams but this is different. I hope I play well…but I just want to have a good time and enjoy the week.
“It’s quite different to football alright. I started to play golf to escape from the pressure from football.
“I come on to a golf course and turn off my phone and just walk the course and hit some balls. It’s one of the reasons why I started to play. I just found this great game where you have to be focused and balanced and that’s why I like it. I like that mental balance.”