There’s only two Lionel Messis

RONALDO, Pele, Neville – any footballer worth their salt ends up with a namesake.
And now even Barcelona legend Lionel Messi has to share his moniker with another professional footballer, with the news that Cameroonian 17-year-old Lionel Messi Nyamsi has signed a deal with French club Angers.
He said: “I’ve had other offers but I think I’ll end up at Angers.
“My greatest wish is to play alongside Leo Messi.
“I was born in Cameroon but I’m French. I would choose France.”

Goaltastic Fantasy Football League – Gameweek 30

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ANOTHER Gameweek, another week of me, being smug, at the top of the leaderboard.
Oh yeah!
With less than spectacular scores posted across the Goaltastic league, a few teams have managed to snatch a place or two, most notably Ruff Tuff Bluff Stuf (2), Hersham Boys (6), Ninja Avengers (9) and this week’s top scorer, 52nd-placed Bassett’s Allsorts with 78 points.
But the main thing to remember is, I’m still winning.

Charlton turn down Rivaldo

SOMETIMES, in between the Robin van Persie to Real Madrids and Lucas Podolski to Arsenals a transfer story comes out of nowhere.
As a result I’m going to take this slowly, so you can soak it in.
The former Barcelona and Brazil legend Rivaldo.
He’s playing in Angola.
That’s right, the southern African country, Angola, which was deep in civil war less than a decade ago, and has one of the lowest standards of living in the world.
He’s playing for Kabuscorp FC, but is available on a free transfer.
Charlton Athletic have turned down the chance to sign him.
Altogether now – what?
Loughborough Dynamo, Shepshed Dynamo, Quorn, someone please – get onto it, now!

Arsenal keeper pays for kids’ birthday party

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POLISH goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny joined in the fun at a kids’ birthday party last week, before picking up the tab as he left.
The Arsenal custodian was recognised as he dined out at a restaurant by a group of 20 youngsters.
And the goalkeeper was happy to oblige posing for photographs and meeting all the children, and as he left, he paid for the party’s tab and left before anyone knew.
So next time you see Szczesny enjoying a night out, you know what to do – grab a kid, and order the most expensive dish on the menu.

Has Maradona saved Man City’s season?

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PREVIOUSLY petulant striker Carlos Tevez returned to the first team for Man City this week – to devastating effect.
The Argentinean striker was thrown on by manager Mancini with his team trailing 1-0 to Chelsea, and Tevez was pivotal in turning the tide and seeing his side triumph 2-1.
The win kept the Citizens within a point of title rivals Manchester United.
But what sparked Tevez – who could yet prove the difference between a Premier League trophy and a runners-up medal – into returning after his public spat with Mancini last year?
According to Diego Maradona: “I told Tevez three months ago that he had to talk with Mancini as soon as possible.
“I said that because he was losing money — but also because he needed to play football again.
“I told Tevez, ‘you must go back now’.”
So should City lift the league trophy for the first time since 1967/68 this season, remember who it was down to…

Goaltastic Fantasy Football League – Gameweek 29

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ALLOW me to indulge myself for just a minute – there’s a new leader at the top of the Goaltastic league after this Gameweek.
Ahahahahahahahaha! Glory will be mine.
As a result of my crack squad of football geniuses rising to the top of the pile after a storming gameweek, producing the week’s highest score of 79 points, Bangkok Foxes (2), Ruff Tuff Bluff Stuf (3) and Debbie Does Gallas (4) all drop.
Also rising in the top spots are stooshermadnessFC (5), Canons ablaze (7), Hersham Boys (9) and Ninja Avengers (10).
in fact it’s not until 12th placed Team Punishment there’s a team maintaining its position – showing that while the season may be beginning to draw to a close, there’s plenty to play for in the Goaltastic League.

Ferdinand ditched JLS for QPR

QPR defender Anton Ferdinand has revealed that he could have had an alternative career – as a member of JLS.
The London-born defender was childhood friends with singer Marvin Humes, and the pair used to regularly sing with each other before one found footballing fame while the other took on The X-Factor.
Ferdinand said: “We were the original JLS
“We used to sing a lot together when we were younger and do talent competitions.
“We had a group of friends that used to go round each other’s houses and sing.”
“I’d definitely like to think about a collaboration with them in the future.”

All hail Lionel Messi

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234 goals in 314 appearances for Barcelona, courtesy of a hattrick tonight, breaking the all time club scoring record.
49 goals in 64 Champions League games, the competition’s fourth top scorer ever. Also the only to score five goals in one Champions League match.
Captain of his country.
Three Fifa Ballon d’Or ‘s, a Fifa World Player of the Year and a Uefa Best Player in Europe Award.
Five La Liga titles, five Supercopa de Espana, one Copa del Rey, three Champions League titles, two Uefa Super Cup titles, two Fifa Club World Cup titles and an Olympic Gold.
24 years old.
Quite simply, we are not worthy.

Italian team kicked out of their own town

FRUSTRATED Cesena president Igor Campedelli has told the club’s players to get out of town.
The squad has been ordered to train away from the city in a bid to improve their flagging fortunes, after slumping to 14 points adrift of safety with 10 Serie A games remaining.
Cesena’s last victory dates back to January 15 and they have collected just two points since.
He said: “I am bitter and disappointed. I reiterate that we can be relegated but not in this manner.
“From today the team will train away from Cesena until further notice.
“Only those that show motivation and play for the team instead of focusing on their personal stats will play.
“I hope that from here on until the end of the campaign someone makes me eat my words.”

Muamba showing “signs of improvement”

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BOLTON Wanderers midfielder Fabrice Muamba is showing signs of improvement according to his club.
The player had collapsed from a cardiac arrest during an FA Cup match against Spurs on March 17, causing the match to be postponed while he was rushed to hospital.
In a statement today, a Bolton spokesman said: “Fabrice Muamba remains in intensive care at The London Chest Hospital, where today he is showing small signs of improvement.
“His heart is now beating without the help of medication and he is also moving his arms and his legs.
“However, his long-term prognosis will remain unclear for some time. He is still critically ill and will continue to be closely monitored and treated by staff in The London Chest Hospital’s intensive care unit.”